The LJ-er formerly known as Amalin. If I post fan-related material here, it will be public. Feel free to friend me for that, if you like, but I probably won't friend you back: nothing personal, I just keep my friends-locked posts to people I know.

My long Merlin rec list is here, and my favorite multi-fandom recs are tagged on delicious.

(This post is so obviously for Aja, but you're welcome to it, too. More pictures and summaries and excerpts to come, possibly, but for now I wanted to post this as-is.)

"When the voice-over in Gossip Girl is shallow and inane, it shows that for all the purported total ubiquity and omniscience of the titular hearsay maven, she can’t penetrate beyond surfaces and explore the characters’ rich inner lives like we can. It’s a trenchant insight. And it’s those rich inner lives that make the show worth watching; like the sociological principle that states that our larger social structure is reproduced in our small-scale interactions, Gossip Girl is full of signs and signifiers. Margaret Mead would dig this show. So would Walter Benjamin." — Oscar Moralde, The Hypermodern

( Guide to Gossip Girl extras. )

"Vanessa judged the cover, but now that she’s read the book she realizes its worth. EVERYONE WHO DISSES THIS SHOW, FOLLOW THIS LESSON." — Oscar Moralde, The Hypermodern

I moved into my new house last weekend. I have a room full of evening sunlight and a freezer to keep soy ice cream in. I have a massive amount of fresh blueberries and a forest of a backyard. I love it very much. Meanwhile, watching 500 Days of Summer made me want a blackboard wall. It also made me sympathize with Summer even as the whole theater was wincing for Tom. And speaking of fictional occurrences: you know I so rarely rec fics. But here I am, reccing two. They are both vastly important and amazing in their own ways.

( The Sacrifices Arc by Lightning on the Wave. Harry Potter fic. )

( Accidental Memory in the Case of Death by derryere. Merlin fic. )

Oh yeah, and for those of you who still love Idol S8, in case you somehow missed it, today Adam made a bubbletweet in which Kris said, "Let's go to bed, Adam," and then, "Who's on top?" And then Kradam was the #1 trending topic on Twitter. Hey Aja, remember that time I left fandom? (And while I'm reccing fics and on the subject of Idol, I might as well rec Little Boxes, this Adam/Anoop fic that won my heart. It is seriously my favorite AI fic. And now, I swear, this post is finished . . . so go read.)

That's right: it's a H/D revival and you're invited! By which I mean, if you ever liked H/D and you are not at this post, what the hell are you doing on the Internet?

"WHAT'S THAT? YOU THINK IT NEVER EVER GOT BETTER THAN ANGST FIC? YOU AIN'T NEVER HAD A FRIEND LIKE ME, BITCH. IT MAY BE A SEASON IN HELL BUT THE WEATHER OF THE HEART MAKES IT A BEAUTIFUL WORLD EVEN IN THE DARK SIDE OF LIGHT, UNDERSTAND?"

Chances are, you're probably even mentioned. Yes, I am talking about you, Trin, and you, Mem, and obviously Slytherlynx! Also, for the love of all things HP, please read Cathy's just-written fic about Draco and the Room of Requirement, it is careful and sad and perfect.

Edit: A list of the fics mentioned in Aja's post. Hello, nostalgia.

How has no one but lesstraveled posted a movie review yet? Oh, is it because you all went to bed after seeing it, like sane people? Well, it's 4:30 AM, fuck yeah, and I'm going to talk about Harry Potter. Can you believe I'm only ever going to make two more of these posts? It saddens me but makes me grateful for two movies left, not just one. I will lap up every second I get.

( SPOILERS WITHIN, OBVIOUSLY. )

I'm sure I have more to say but I can't think coherently right now. These were my preliminary thoughts, but I'm sure I missed a thousand things. Talk to me, all of you! And for those of you who made my sad attempt at a Harry Potter party actually become a small Harry Potter party, I love you forevs.

Edit: And 'bri, I didn't take your advice, I got a little drunk beforehand. It made the awkward a lot less awkward. I could write a whole post about seeing Emma tonight and where my head's at there, though, so I shall save that for another time. BECAUSE IT'S STILL HARRY POTTER TIME! GO TO IT.

Edit 2: Oops . . . I kind of forgot to talk about Dumbledore?

Edit 3: I've seen the Where The Wild Things Are trailer a gazillion times by now, but never on the big screen. I think there were actual tears in my eyes. Can't wait! I can, however, wait for New Moon. Half my theater was screaming in joy and the other half was laughing hysterically and booing. Harry Potter fans, ilu.

Edit 4: THIS ONE IS IMPORTANT. I JUST REMEMBERED MY FAVORITE PART IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE: ( When Harry . . . )

Edit 5: Or you could just read Cathy's beautiful, spot-on review.

AWW, GUYS. I finally got my evaluations back from last term and I was called "very organized and fun," "awesome," "very friendly and personal," and "very charismatic." Awwww. I am not sure any of these words describe me, except for "organized", but I am touched to the bottom of my eager mentor heart. Also, "She was great and cared about us and our moods and how we felt about the class." And "We discussed class readings and the mentor taught us new things that related to the main course which no mentor has done in my two other sophomore inquiry courses. I thought the mentor session in my two previous sophomore inquiry courses and in my FRINQ were a waste of time but this mentor inquiry was awesome. I actually learned about different topics and expanded on class topics. I think it was mainly due to the mentor and her way of presenting the material." And my favorite forever: "In mentor section it was nice that the mentor went with what we wanted to do. Felt as if we were taking control of our learning rather than being spoon fed it." That is all I ever wanted. It's all I ever needed. So tell me what to do now . . . sorry, boyband moment. I am done bragging now.

Look what Cathy did. She wrote me Cho fic. I have been in this fandom for seven years, loving the hell out of Cho Chang, and nobody's ever written me Cho fic. She also wrote some amazing Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald thestrals fic. I love Harry Potter. I love Harry Potter so much. I just want to revisit this never-to-be-completed list of canon things I love for a second because, wow, yeah.

LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT HARRY POTTER? PLEASE? HARRY POTTER PARTY? JUST FOR ONE DAY. AS IF I AM NOT HYPED UP ENOUGH ABOUT TOMORROW ALREADY. (Come on, seriously. What fic still sticks in your head? What are you hoping for from the sixth film? How much do you love Hedwig? Does anyone still watch Harry Potter in the Hood like me, loser that I am? Clearly I am the only one who wants to talk about this, lol nostalgia.)

You know how my mixes are always angst and acoustic guitars and have pretentious paragraphs describing their themes and all that shit? This is not one of those mixes. This is one of those embarrassingly trendy, weird-ass mixes I make but never share. It was originally two discs, the first sad and emo, the second dancetastic, but I ended up combining them, which is why the mashed-up title is so hilarious (okay, it was funnier a month ago when I started this mix). I'd post a pretentious paragraph describing the theme—there really is one—but I think it speaks for itself.

This is only 40 minutes, so it's short, and I have no idea why anyone else would want this anyway, but here it is if you do. Oh, yeah, and if you hate MGMT's "Kids", I can guarantee you probably won't like this either.

( summer '09. )

This is honestly the best thing I've seen in weeks. I keep showing things like this to my students and they don't get it, they just sneer at Twitter and disparage people with "online friends" (isn't that so 2000?), and I get so excited about everything and they get excited about nothing. So, possibly because of that, and because of the anti-technology, anti-intellectual slant of my program, I actually yelped in joy at multiple points during this, and I cried twice. SO SUE ME, I GET EMOTIONAL ABOUT THE INTERNET.

Me, to Aja: I also think I've read too much fic since I read half a fic, get to the point where Merlin and Arthur start to kiss, and then I close the window because I'm already bored. LDKJFS WHEN YOU'RE TIRED OF ARTHUR/MERLIN PORN YOU KNOW YOU NEED A FIC BREAK.

( A Primer on Merlin . . . )

“We’ll see. I’m still young.”
“Well . . . you’re not that young.”
— Wedding Crashers

“We all begin with dreams but end with nothing, nothing more than
what we in our humility can make of ourselves.”
— Anthropology of an American Girl

Three days ago, my great aunt Corinne died. I don’t recall much about her toward the end, but I have plenty of memories of visits and vacations when I was a little girl. She always told the best stories, all of which she called miracles (she was a Benedictine nun). She took more photos than anyone I know, especially at the end, when she could barely remember our names. I sat next to her at my grandma’s funeral, her sister’s funeral, and neither of us said a thing. I blew bubbles with her one day, at the cottage, her in an old dress and me barefoot. The pavement was hot from the sun, isn’t it always like that?

Here is a mix that makes me think, that’s the way we get by, the way we get by.

This is possibly the saddest mix I have ever made. It's also not spectacular and maybe only means anything to me, but I'm putting it up for the few of you anyway.

( october '07: maybe you can only ever love her sadly. )

lupercus: I never liked endings, myself.
just_harry: They’re usually my favourite part of books and stuff.
lupercus: Well, in books, you can always turn to the first page and start over again. It's not the same in life.

( Oh, Harry Potter. I don't do well without you. )

I will be the first to admit that this is a self-indulgent mix. I didn't spend as much time making sure the songs fit together as I did putting together all the songs that spoke to me of the past month and a half, and some of them are new and some of them are old. Also, I broke my same artist rule twice. But I still like it. And with that in mind, here's my mellow, tired, sweet and sleepy summer, all wrapped up in thirty three songs. I like to think that if Zach Braff made a movie about my summer, the soundtrack might be something like this.

( summer '06. )

This is Seoul: playing tag in front of City Hall in the rain; standing on a roof and staring out at the sky; racing down the highway next to the Han River, everything dark and lonely; kissing on a street corner as the rain falls down; eating mandu with sticks in front of a food vendor stall; the taste of green apple – soda, crepes, ice cream, gum; rolls of gimbap before class; riot police; holding hands down side streets; dancing close in hot, dark clubs.

And if my life were a movie made by Zach Braff, the trailer would show these scenes, over which it would play Devotchka’s “How It Ends”. There would also be a few foggy, lonely beach scenes, with a motorcycle and jutting rocks. And fading lettering would appear in the form of a meaningful question about fate, things changing, and always wondering about what could never be.

Luckily, no part of my life is a Zach Braff movie. This allows me to avoid a gratuitous scene of staring out the window at a classic Seoul monsoon, and instead think about all the things I have waiting for me back in the US. Which is a lot, and I can't wait to go home.

I've been working on this mix every day for a week. It's a strange mix of old and new songs I love, but regardless, it might be everything I have to say about April. I like it because it's full of unexpected turns. That also might be why I like April, often in spite of myself. And, as a sidenote, I broke my own rule and included two songs by the same artist. I have no explanation except that April is strange. And that I couldn't help myself.

( april '06. )

Speaking of music, I keep listening to "Adlai Stevenson" and thinking Sufjan Stevens is a brilliant man. Speaking of brilliant men, I heard Dennis Kucinich speak this weekend. Speaking of this weekend, I went to a birthday party at a retirement home and we made $1500 for my Peace and Conflict Studies Development Group. Speaking of institutional change, Liz and I are addressing issues of racism on the Oberlin campus in our discussion group and that's scary. Speaking of scary, my fiction workshop is challenging me, frustrating me, and being good for me in all kinds of ways. Sometimes I wish I had the courage some of you have shown so many times, but between me and Talia, who is awesome, we are trying to be better.

I send uncomfortable e-mails and stay up too late and eat sugar packets and have difficult conversations and miss Erie and enjoy the warm weather. Spring is finally here, and I'm trying to make it okay.